One of the great truths of motherhood is that, no matter how hard we try, we will all eventually embarrass our children. Maybe we’ll roll up to the school drop-off line with our ’90s hip-hop blasting a little too loudly and our child has to worry his friends will see his mom rapping along to Tupac (we still know all the words to California Love and aren’t going to pretend we don’t!). Maybe we do something really over the line, like dancing in public or trying to hug our kid in front of his friends.
Rebecca’s daughter has been studying the Roman Empire in school.
View this post on Instagram A post shared by Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology (@maacambridge)
We totally give Rebecca “mother of the year” points for trying to supplement her daughter’s school learning with a fun trip to a museum. As reported by the New York Post , she noted that “we visited The Museum of Archaeology as they had Roman pottery” and that they “purchased a postcard at the end of the visit for her to take in to school.”
A trip to a great museum and a small postcard to take to school so her daughter can share what she learned with her teacher and friends — really, that is some A+ mom work right there!
Unfortunately, Rebecca didn’t look closely enough at what was on the pottery in the photograph!
The Romans had some creative pottery and this postcard has a NSFW example of it!
Posted this in January but today it’s #Cambridge ’s day for #MuseumsUnlocked AND #PhallusThursday . And besides, if the #Roman ‘penis pot’ from Great Chesterton, #Essex , isn’t something you want to see on a regular basis, who even are you anymore? #RomanBritain #Archaeology pic.twitter.com/abRstav7kd — Roman Britain News (@Roman_Britain) April 16, 2020
Rebecca reported that the postcard “featured a piece of Roman pottery on it” and that she felt “like we had done a cracking job”! Her daughter took the postcard to school and all was well until the night when parent-teacher conferences rolled around.
According to the article, Rebecca was taken aback when the teachers mentioned “the postcard and how it made then laugh and asked did we realize what was on the pottery?”
She ended up taking a closer look and realizing in horror what the decorative element on the pottery actually was!
‘Obviously we didn’t because the pottery on the postcard was covered in penises.’
While Rebecca calls this moment a major parenting fail, we suspect the teachers enjoyed getting a good laugh during their teaching day!
Now, we couldn’t help but wonder why exactly the ancient Romans had cups decorated with penises and thankfully the Museum of Archeology has some answers for us! According to the museum, the cup shows a “Large beaker with decoration showing a chariot-race, the chariots being drawn by teams of phalluses, which run on cocks’ legs. Various other phalluses are dotted about the scene, also a couple indulging in sexual intercourse, after a fashion”
After a fashion, indeed.
We’re all learning from this mom’s mistake.
We’re not entirely sure what it was used for; most people have focused on the decoration. Best guess from experts is that this was a communal drinking vessel. — Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology (@MAACambridge) April 17, 2020
Not only are we learning to double and triple check any postcards of pottery bought at a museum, we’re also learning that this type of Roman pottery is evidence that people have always thought penises were funny!
According to Imogen Gunn, collections manager at Cambridge’s Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology, this kind of art was “supposed to be funny”. Ms. Gunn shared with the Daily Mail Online that “Although of course we don’t know for sure, I’d be inclined to think it was more likely to have been used and laughed at by soldiers than having a particularly ritualistic purpose.”
We’ve got to love that a piece of art and a postcard of that piece of art has been making people laugh for over 1,700 years, even if it was mortifying for one mom!
